Inhibited.

I think my inability to take things seriously is starting to really play against me. I laugh at myself, I laugh at others, ideas, religions, science, politics, farts, belches, cat videos & when people fall/fail. I find humour in just about everything except when people step on my shoes or when there is a spider/wasp/bee/etc. in the room. I laugh when I'm nervous. Laughter is basically my means of dealing with things when I don't think it should be taken too seriously. I don't see a problem in any of this. I thing that if more people learned to laugh about themselves & not take who they are & what they believe too seriously, we'd all get along a lot better. Lately though, I don't think being laid back is playing to my advantage.

I think people in power write me off as an air head, insincere, & uninterested. Why? I can't safely speak for the people who view me as such, but I believe it comes from an inability to put an immediate label on me. Here is my reasoning: First, I take pride in my appearance (when it counts) & being on top means looking like you're on top. That said, I don't mind wearing clothes that a 21 year-old SHOULD wear. Just because I don't wear button ups, slacks, & loafers does not mean I'm not sincere. By taking pride in what I wear, I think I'm two steps ahead of the game. Sure someone older & more professional than me can get the job done, but I can can do it with PIZZAZZ! To those who say 'who needs pizzazz'? I say, 'we all do.' Life in America is dull, trivial, & predictable, & getting up in the morning & putting on a fresh pair of heels & some red lipstick is what I do to fill my life with a little spark.

Secondly, positions I am going for are held & supervised predominantly by women. Women get intimidated by other women & no matter what the age; I am intimidating. I am 21, well spoken, gradually educated, outgoing, a non-eye sore, & WORST OF ALL I'm a pretty damn nice person. Most women my age & older take that and treat me like I am below them just because they hold a position of power & I don't. They perceive my niceness as a means of achieving when in reality my niceness comes from a personal desire to be nice & put others at ease. Being a nice person to me is not about what I can get out of it, but how it can make others feel. If there is still a glass ceiling, it is perpetuated by other women at this moment.

Finally, when I treat the issues in life as trivial that others find vastly important, they take that as a direct insult & label me as I have previously stated. I don't feel like I need to put anymore explanation into this other than this; If I make light of something you feel is hugely important, don't be a pansy & hold it against me. SPEAK. UP. You were given a voice for more than water cooler gossip, Ladies.

-LC