Portrait of a Dad

Meet Larry Dwayne Cross

He was born in the 40’s to a family of 6 boys. He went to school in Oklahoma City with segregated water fountains and went home every day to a house in the “black community”. His views of other races are still constrained by his childhood, but I am proud to say in 2008 he voted for a black man as his President.  When an early form of Taco Bell came to Oklahoma City, he and his friends threw a full pack of firecrackers into their chimney. He dropped out of school in high school and walked through lines of protestors to join the Army.  During his time in Vietnam, he was a member of a gun truck team.  His truck was named after the song “Bad Moon Rising” by Credence Clearwater Revival and he never can listen to it without telling a war story to whoever will listen.  I don’t need to divulge any of the details of what he did while in Vietnam, because if you are even remotely aware of the carnage done by our troops you will have an idea.  He returned home with some medals to a country that hated him. He worked as a truck driver and met my mom on a blind date. I could listen to my dad tell the story over and over. Sitting in my living room as a little kid and listening to my parents and brothers and sister, account how my parents met is one of my favorite childhood memories. I have pictures of a tall, lean Larry Cross with jet black hair and a full, matching mustache holding a drooling, bubbly, human (me). He has a tattoo on each forearm and for that reason alone he forbids me from getting tattoos. He raised me on Buddy Holiday, Elvis, and Hank Williams. He bought rusted, old Ford trucks and surprised my mom with them.  He used to spend 5 days a week on the road and while he was gone, I would wear his shirts that smelled of sunshine and tobacco. He proved he never forgot about me while he was gone by bringing home turtles, bats and other animals he found during his time on the road.  We spent Saturday mornings watching Popeye, Gunsmoke, and MA.S.H.. He would buy me plastic swords and I would run around the living room smacking him, laughing and yelling “Asshole” at the top of my little lungs. He taught me to shoot a BB gun and how to appreciate the calm and quiet of fishing. To some, my dad may be of questionable standings, but through his triumphs and weakness, he has taught me what it means to love others fully and to never let go of the people who love you. Because of his life experiences, I am firm in my pacifistic beliefs, firm against racism, fully committed to being the best wife/ mother some day and can tell an inappropriate joke like no other. My dad has always told me I am the most important thing in his life and for that reason alone, I refuse to be nothing but a success. My dad isn’t perfect and sometimes he falters in his duty as a father, but I have never once doubted his love for me. I hope that one day I can love with such an intensity and show my children how important that is.

 

Thanks Dad. I owe you so much. 

P.S. This picture of my parents and I just makes my day. That's our dog Betsey and my cat Peter Towshend creeping. I am real dang lucky.

"They say that time changes things..."

"But you actually have to change them yourself." -Andy Warhol.

Excuses for Why it has been a MONTH since I have blogged:

1. A few days of pool time, ghost hunts, and shopping with the Mom. ( Which was just wonderful. Can't ever beat good times with Momma. Love her.)

2. I started back to work at the Chuck.

3. Living in three states = never having at least one of the following; laptop, laptop charger, internet, or time.

4. Been hangin' out with these kids. They are a blast.

   So, things are finally getting back on lockdown. For the past two weeks, I have kind of felt like I am strewn all over the place. Working and living in Fayetteville on the weekends, not exactly settled into Grove, Oklahoma, and trying to make Joplin home again. Took me a solid day to grasp that the chaotic parts of my life are useful in that once they are over, I will be able to fully appreciate how great having order and unity is. 

  Also, I have decided there are some things in my life I need to change. Nothing Earth shaking, just simple lifestyle adjustments. I've always been told that if there is something you don't like, it is up to you to change it. You'll just waste your time waiting for others to do it for you. So far, said changes  are proving to make life much sweeter.

 1. Taming the Obese Level

Can't get enough of it. I've been running my tail end off and finding out how truly out of shape I am. Guess that is what I get for thinking four years of Marching Band is an acceptable form of physical activity. No more pop, fried foods or chocolate. Unless the occasion calls for it. Anyhow, I am also using some left over scholarship money to secure a bike as soon as I get into Joplin.  Hoping to use the car less this summer, but with Joplin's less than biker-friendly roads, who knows.

2.  My education

I am not entirely proud of my average performance in school. So, I figured I'd take summer classes. But I just couldn't bring myself to spend any amount of time in a classroom this summer. Solution = Reading like a maniac. My summer Reading list includes; ridiculous amounts of Kurt V. and Chuck P. books,  a few of Marquez's works and I'm going to be tackling "War and Peace". And pretty much any other book that will make me look cool in Starbucks. If you have any suggestions as to what else I should read, do share.

3. The World

Not literally. I've been doing some community service this summer and it's made me realize how truly boring life is when one is not contributing to the world in any way. I'm confident that there is nothing as satisfying as community service. I'm thinking a career of it is the way to go.  If you kids haven't noticed lately, our entire world really is making some changes. This one in particular has got me all excited and jittery.

I would like to think this is the "I Have a Dream" speech of our generation. Don't care if you like Obama or not. You should like the idea of peace and friendly relations with the Middle East as much as I do. Also, keep an eye on the up coming presidential elections in Iran. It's going to be a way freakin' exciting. I wonder if I can be a Field organizer for Mir Hossein Mousavi. I'd learn Arabic just to phone bank for him. For those of you who suck, he is the current President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's fiercest opponent. And he rocks. Get on the bandwagon.

Conclusion, there are too many good things in life to ever settle with the bad. Pay attention to what is going on in this world. I guarantee you no remedial facebook drama is more important than a ten minute trip to CNN.COM. And summertime is just perfect. Soak it up.

-Larissa

P.S. This is what this blog was written to.

Bittersweet.

First off, this is the last week of my second semester of college. I was all online this semester and living in about three different states constantly. Seeing this semester end makes me sad for a number of reasons, but mainly because it's time for good-byes. I hate them. But I am realizing that if we never had to say good-bye to someone, we would never be able to evaluate our life without them. Good-byes make us fully appreciate that "Hello" and first moment together when they come back. I'm not one to publicize my personal life but here's a peak at one good-bye that sure as heck is going to be tough. I hope that I have been able to bring the wonderful people I have to say good-bye to as much joy as they have to my life.

Also, this semester ending means I am starting a new part of my life without the control I have had in the past. For the first time in my (somewhat) adult life, I am making decisions not because someone else wants me to or so that I can accommodate to others. I am making my decisions purely on what I want and feel. And for the first time, things are finally falling into place. Things are going just perfect. My schedule next semester is ideal...All the classes I wanted and none before 9 a.m.. I have made my first major change, or rather major adjustment, I will be double majoring in Poli. Sci. and Sociology. I am so excited. If you know me, then you know that my heart lies with the inner city struggles (The children of Tulsa, Oklahoma). I spent a week with these girls and they are the ones responsible for my ambitions.

And to be able to help better the lives of those people is just an immaculate vision to me. My life's end goal is to not only be the voice of those crushed by inner city life, but to be able to open a safe haven for their children. And I have been advised that this is exactly the step I need towards what I want to do. What more could I ask for?

As far as this summer goes, I have no idea what I will be doing. I'm not entirely looking forward to doing the lazy school kid thing because there are so many better things I could be doing. I'm dying to travel. I'm thinking Seattle sounds like the place to be ... or maybe a beach, but who knows. I have been told that traveling with the risk of Swine Flu is idiotic. But, I have also heard that "Approximately 45 percent of unintentional injury deaths occurred in and around the home." So, I'll take my chances elsewhere. I am currently looking for a fellow vagabond. Requirements: You must be willing to accept that we will be flying by the seat of our pants. This requirement is also starting to flow over into other parts of my life. I'm not really looking for stability except where it is necessary. As long as I have people to love and return the love, the status of "student" and my iPhone, I think I can handle the rest however it may come. And if not, Apple will make an App that can.

Just another Beginning

So, I have not had a blog since they were the cool thing to do in Middle School. It's time to be cool again.

I don't let bad things get me down. I'd rather talk about it and move on. So, here we go.This last semester, everything I have done was done so that this fall semester I would be a legitimate student at the University of Arkansas.  

Unfortunately, I have just been notified that over half of my credits will not transfer and that I will receive zero financial aid from them. I will have a meager 9 credits upon entering U of A. On top of that, it is a considerable amount more expensive then MSSU. (I.E. A parking pass at MSSU = $20, at U of A = $500) That's not gonna fly. I'm not one to fight the current. I like to go with the flow and let fate happen. And for some reason, I am thinking this is fate. I have been fighting leaving MSSU for TWO whole semesters now. Yet, every time nothing works out and I'm right back where I started. I am a firm believer that if something is meant to be it will happen with no kinks. I think it is time I take the hint. I'm tired of fighting the inevitable. Maybe there's a reason I'm here. Maybe (as much as I hate to say it) this is where I need to be right now. 

For the past few weeks or so I have kind of felt like I am cheating myself. I have always said if I am going to transfer, I am getting the heck out of here. And transferring just an hour away is pointless.  If I could pack it all up and go to the school of my dreams, ( A school in Austin, Seattle or Boston) I would in a heartbeat. So, what is the point of transferring now, losing tons of credits and not ending up where I want to be?

Right now, I am done with constantly looking for bigger and better. I am going to find happiness with where I am. I am going to make the most of it and just sit back and see what happens. I don't want to make assumptions about where this next semester will take me, but I know it can only get better. I am content with not knowing. 

Also, I am missing the man of my dreams tonight.

To everyone who gets the joy of seeing him tonight, think of me during "A Girl Named Go".

While you are having the time of your life, I will most likely be pounding beers and cursing a ton.