"I was 19, call me."

I was a freshman in college. I was away from home. And I was in way over my head.

I think it is important to let people who matter to you know that they matter. And that is the main purpose of this blog. Most of you know the many adventures and shenanigans  of the past year of my life. No need to waste time on retelling it.

People who made the 19th year of my life beautiful;

Family - Always good to come home to them. Fourth of July was one of the best nights. I love being around my parents but I love being around my brother and my two sister more. I don't really think they know how much they mean to me and how greatly they have influenced my life. I look up to my siblings so much and I have mountains of respect and gratitude for them. My sister told me a few days ago, "If you ever need bailed out of jail, just call me." Better believe I'll take you up on that, sister!

Friends - I have met some of the most amazing people in Joplin, Missouri. Jeremiah, Whitney, Kyle, Patricia, Savannah, Meagan, Glenn, Andrew, Will, Keaton, Natalie, Emily, Will T., Emery. And those are just a portion. You guys have contributed to my life in so many ways. You've influenced me, you've made me laugh, drank with me, watched me make a fool of myself, told me stories, heard me sing, taught me lessons, and just overall had some amazing times together. I am also very lucky that I still have old friends to always turn to. Moral of the story; new or old, I love you and appreciate everything you have brought to my life.

Turning 20 is a big deal for me, because it is closing the chapter on the "teen" years of my life. Most of which I spent awkward and in marching band.  So far, being 20 is no different. I'm still exactly the same except no marching band. I'm planning on this next year of my life being even better than the last. Thanks to everyone who  I have been lucky enough to count as my friend. I owe you so much.

All Wrapped up in Being 19

Prequel Blog to my Birthday blog:

 I don't think I'll ever be as adult-like as my peers, because to me, Adolescence is a stage of constant learning. Adulthood starts when there is no more knowledge to be gained. Everyday I learn new things, whether it be about myself or life in general. For instance, I just recently learned how to correctly apply eye shadow and how to get stains out of the carpet. I still can't quite grapple how to hold chopsticks or figure out what the square root of a power is; and I'm still learning about heartbreak and how to fully appreciate the important people in my life. 

My only excuse for any of these things is simply that I'm young. But, I don't think that my lack of life experience and knowledge constitutes me as immature. I think immaturity comes when you fail to recognize you have plenty of growing to do. And I do not pretend that I am the most intelligent or the most put together person out there. Most of the time I'm a mess. I have so much learning to do. And I don't think that makes me too young or too immature. Frankly, I don't believe in being too young. I have over half of my life left to be too old. So, why waste time wanting to be older? One day I'll look back and wish for the time when I was too young.

So for the time being, I'm content with being too young, too green and too uneducated. With age comes knowledge and I'll wait patiently until life delivers it to me.

Denny's Conversations

Making the realization that others judgements about ourselves has no effect on our life is a difficult thing to do. I'm working on it. This is a shout out to everyone who has listened to me and given me some worthy advice on how to deal with the situation I face. 

I'm convinced that people change not because of lack of standings or morals, but because we are "constant works in progress"(SYG). It's part of being human. We adapt to our surroundings and grow because we as humans are uniquely capable of mental capacity and emotions.

If you can  deem my life and accomplishments as unworthy because at the end of the day I will have a beer, then one day you will come to the realization that your own cruelty overshadows your own life work. Not all the beers in the world can erase the fact that I am and will be a damn fine person. Sometimes I fall short, but my intentions are always good... Unless you are my mean neighbor F-2... Then I will light fireworks on your porch at 2a.m. Anyhow, Each day is a step closer to the person I am meant to be. If I accept who I am now and refuse to change, than I fail to reach my full potential. I recognize that not all change is good, but that recognition alone and commitment to constantly bettering myself will prevent me from ever changing for the worse.

So, you may not agree with me. I'm okay with it. Your approval does not determine my happiness. 

-Larissa

One Year ago.

Today.

 “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

Welp

Still putting off a real post.

Here's my life right now:

Love these people.

I am a big quality over quantity person. 

These people have a lot of quality. And there are more who refuse to Photobooth with me.

 On another note, drove home from the Hookah lounge tonight with open windows, rain and Jack's Mannequin. 

There are some simple things in this life that just cannot be topped.

Appreciate them.

-Larissa

Cover

Absolutely nothing exciting is going on. Got a new job. Besides that, my life is currently full of work, pool time and lots of late night coffee.

The following is the reason for this post:

I think this video is the best thing since sliced bread. This is Weezer covering "Kids" by MGMT... And then going right into a Lady Gaga song. I've been pretty hooked on it for a good month. 

A real blog about real stuff to come soon.

Portrait of a Dad

Meet Larry Dwayne Cross

He was born in the 40’s to a family of 6 boys. He went to school in Oklahoma City with segregated water fountains and went home every day to a house in the “black community”. His views of other races are still constrained by his childhood, but I am proud to say in 2008 he voted for a black man as his President.  When an early form of Taco Bell came to Oklahoma City, he and his friends threw a full pack of firecrackers into their chimney. He dropped out of school in high school and walked through lines of protestors to join the Army.  During his time in Vietnam, he was a member of a gun truck team.  His truck was named after the song “Bad Moon Rising” by Credence Clearwater Revival and he never can listen to it without telling a war story to whoever will listen.  I don’t need to divulge any of the details of what he did while in Vietnam, because if you are even remotely aware of the carnage done by our troops you will have an idea.  He returned home with some medals to a country that hated him. He worked as a truck driver and met my mom on a blind date. I could listen to my dad tell the story over and over. Sitting in my living room as a little kid and listening to my parents and brothers and sister, account how my parents met is one of my favorite childhood memories. I have pictures of a tall, lean Larry Cross with jet black hair and a full, matching mustache holding a drooling, bubbly, human (me). He has a tattoo on each forearm and for that reason alone he forbids me from getting tattoos. He raised me on Buddy Holiday, Elvis, and Hank Williams. He bought rusted, old Ford trucks and surprised my mom with them.  He used to spend 5 days a week on the road and while he was gone, I would wear his shirts that smelled of sunshine and tobacco. He proved he never forgot about me while he was gone by bringing home turtles, bats and other animals he found during his time on the road.  We spent Saturday mornings watching Popeye, Gunsmoke, and MA.S.H.. He would buy me plastic swords and I would run around the living room smacking him, laughing and yelling “Asshole” at the top of my little lungs. He taught me to shoot a BB gun and how to appreciate the calm and quiet of fishing. To some, my dad may be of questionable standings, but through his triumphs and weakness, he has taught me what it means to love others fully and to never let go of the people who love you. Because of his life experiences, I am firm in my pacifistic beliefs, firm against racism, fully committed to being the best wife/ mother some day and can tell an inappropriate joke like no other. My dad has always told me I am the most important thing in his life and for that reason alone, I refuse to be nothing but a success. My dad isn’t perfect and sometimes he falters in his duty as a father, but I have never once doubted his love for me. I hope that one day I can love with such an intensity and show my children how important that is.

 

Thanks Dad. I owe you so much. 

P.S. This picture of my parents and I just makes my day. That's our dog Betsey and my cat Peter Towshend creeping. I am real dang lucky.

"They say that time changes things..."

"But you actually have to change them yourself." -Andy Warhol.

Excuses for Why it has been a MONTH since I have blogged:

1. A few days of pool time, ghost hunts, and shopping with the Mom. ( Which was just wonderful. Can't ever beat good times with Momma. Love her.)

2. I started back to work at the Chuck.

3. Living in three states = never having at least one of the following; laptop, laptop charger, internet, or time.

4. Been hangin' out with these kids. They are a blast.

   So, things are finally getting back on lockdown. For the past two weeks, I have kind of felt like I am strewn all over the place. Working and living in Fayetteville on the weekends, not exactly settled into Grove, Oklahoma, and trying to make Joplin home again. Took me a solid day to grasp that the chaotic parts of my life are useful in that once they are over, I will be able to fully appreciate how great having order and unity is. 

  Also, I have decided there are some things in my life I need to change. Nothing Earth shaking, just simple lifestyle adjustments. I've always been told that if there is something you don't like, it is up to you to change it. You'll just waste your time waiting for others to do it for you. So far, said changes  are proving to make life much sweeter.

 1. Taming the Obese Level

Can't get enough of it. I've been running my tail end off and finding out how truly out of shape I am. Guess that is what I get for thinking four years of Marching Band is an acceptable form of physical activity. No more pop, fried foods or chocolate. Unless the occasion calls for it. Anyhow, I am also using some left over scholarship money to secure a bike as soon as I get into Joplin.  Hoping to use the car less this summer, but with Joplin's less than biker-friendly roads, who knows.

2.  My education

I am not entirely proud of my average performance in school. So, I figured I'd take summer classes. But I just couldn't bring myself to spend any amount of time in a classroom this summer. Solution = Reading like a maniac. My summer Reading list includes; ridiculous amounts of Kurt V. and Chuck P. books,  a few of Marquez's works and I'm going to be tackling "War and Peace". And pretty much any other book that will make me look cool in Starbucks. If you have any suggestions as to what else I should read, do share.

3. The World

Not literally. I've been doing some community service this summer and it's made me realize how truly boring life is when one is not contributing to the world in any way. I'm confident that there is nothing as satisfying as community service. I'm thinking a career of it is the way to go.  If you kids haven't noticed lately, our entire world really is making some changes. This one in particular has got me all excited and jittery.

I would like to think this is the "I Have a Dream" speech of our generation. Don't care if you like Obama or not. You should like the idea of peace and friendly relations with the Middle East as much as I do. Also, keep an eye on the up coming presidential elections in Iran. It's going to be a way freakin' exciting. I wonder if I can be a Field organizer for Mir Hossein Mousavi. I'd learn Arabic just to phone bank for him. For those of you who suck, he is the current President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's fiercest opponent. And he rocks. Get on the bandwagon.

Conclusion, there are too many good things in life to ever settle with the bad. Pay attention to what is going on in this world. I guarantee you no remedial facebook drama is more important than a ten minute trip to CNN.COM. And summertime is just perfect. Soak it up.

-Larissa

P.S. This is what this blog was written to.