Bittersweet.

First off, this is the last week of my second semester of college. I was all online this semester and living in about three different states constantly. Seeing this semester end makes me sad for a number of reasons, but mainly because it's time for good-byes. I hate them. But I am realizing that if we never had to say good-bye to someone, we would never be able to evaluate our life without them. Good-byes make us fully appreciate that "Hello" and first moment together when they come back. I'm not one to publicize my personal life but here's a peak at one good-bye that sure as heck is going to be tough. I hope that I have been able to bring the wonderful people I have to say good-bye to as much joy as they have to my life.

Also, this semester ending means I am starting a new part of my life without the control I have had in the past. For the first time in my (somewhat) adult life, I am making decisions not because someone else wants me to or so that I can accommodate to others. I am making my decisions purely on what I want and feel. And for the first time, things are finally falling into place. Things are going just perfect. My schedule next semester is ideal...All the classes I wanted and none before 9 a.m.. I have made my first major change, or rather major adjustment, I will be double majoring in Poli. Sci. and Sociology. I am so excited. If you know me, then you know that my heart lies with the inner city struggles (The children of Tulsa, Oklahoma). I spent a week with these girls and they are the ones responsible for my ambitions.

And to be able to help better the lives of those people is just an immaculate vision to me. My life's end goal is to not only be the voice of those crushed by inner city life, but to be able to open a safe haven for their children. And I have been advised that this is exactly the step I need towards what I want to do. What more could I ask for?

As far as this summer goes, I have no idea what I will be doing. I'm not entirely looking forward to doing the lazy school kid thing because there are so many better things I could be doing. I'm dying to travel. I'm thinking Seattle sounds like the place to be ... or maybe a beach, but who knows. I have been told that traveling with the risk of Swine Flu is idiotic. But, I have also heard that "Approximately 45 percent of unintentional injury deaths occurred in and around the home." So, I'll take my chances elsewhere. I am currently looking for a fellow vagabond. Requirements: You must be willing to accept that we will be flying by the seat of our pants. This requirement is also starting to flow over into other parts of my life. I'm not really looking for stability except where it is necessary. As long as I have people to love and return the love, the status of "student" and my iPhone, I think I can handle the rest however it may come. And if not, Apple will make an App that can.

Just another Beginning

So, I have not had a blog since they were the cool thing to do in Middle School. It's time to be cool again.

I don't let bad things get me down. I'd rather talk about it and move on. So, here we go.This last semester, everything I have done was done so that this fall semester I would be a legitimate student at the University of Arkansas.  

Unfortunately, I have just been notified that over half of my credits will not transfer and that I will receive zero financial aid from them. I will have a meager 9 credits upon entering U of A. On top of that, it is a considerable amount more expensive then MSSU. (I.E. A parking pass at MSSU = $20, at U of A = $500) That's not gonna fly. I'm not one to fight the current. I like to go with the flow and let fate happen. And for some reason, I am thinking this is fate. I have been fighting leaving MSSU for TWO whole semesters now. Yet, every time nothing works out and I'm right back where I started. I am a firm believer that if something is meant to be it will happen with no kinks. I think it is time I take the hint. I'm tired of fighting the inevitable. Maybe there's a reason I'm here. Maybe (as much as I hate to say it) this is where I need to be right now. 

For the past few weeks or so I have kind of felt like I am cheating myself. I have always said if I am going to transfer, I am getting the heck out of here. And transferring just an hour away is pointless.  If I could pack it all up and go to the school of my dreams, ( A school in Austin, Seattle or Boston) I would in a heartbeat. So, what is the point of transferring now, losing tons of credits and not ending up where I want to be?

Right now, I am done with constantly looking for bigger and better. I am going to find happiness with where I am. I am going to make the most of it and just sit back and see what happens. I don't want to make assumptions about where this next semester will take me, but I know it can only get better. I am content with not knowing. 

Also, I am missing the man of my dreams tonight.

To everyone who gets the joy of seeing him tonight, think of me during "A Girl Named Go".

While you are having the time of your life, I will most likely be pounding beers and cursing a ton.